The Points System
POSITIVE
- Unplanned contact (IM, email, phone): +1
- Being less than 5 minutes late for a date: +2
- Calling/emailing/etc. by agreed-upon time: +3
- Being on time for a date: +5
- Making witty word-related banter over a meal: +5 (suggested by Lana)
- Cuddling after sex: +10
- Gazing affectionately at me after sex: +10
- Making plans for a next date before the first date ends: +10
- A stay-at-home date involving takeout, TV and dessert: +15
- Nice dinner out, his treat: +20
- Cuddling before sex: +20
- Each cool friend: +30
- Each great conversation: +50
NEGATIVE
- Winking: -1
- Failing to call within 24 hours of first date: -5
- Ending a call with “I’ll call you right back” and not calling back for several hours: -5
- Falling asleep right after sex: -7
- Failing to call within 48 hours of a first date: -10
- Gawking at another girl when we’re together: -20
- Misogynist remark: -20
- Racist remark: -20
- Each really lame, disgusting friend: -30
- Failing to call within 3 days of a first date: -50
- Making me feel bad for not putting out: -100
- Touching or making out with another girl when we’re together: -500
This is a work in progress. Suggestions welcome!
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the solipsist in love 
i thought your -500 points for canoodling with another girl when you’re together was appropriate. but then, comparing that denomination to the rest of them, i thought “is there any way to recover from that point loss?” which brings me to my next question: what is your threshold? are the points all relative to the points the other guys have? or is there a deal-breaking cut-off point at which you say “just fuck off and die!”
Comment by erica a-star— November 4, 2008 #
excellent questions.
1) i think there are probably big-ticket positive items (as well as negative) that could theoretically make up for egregious errors like this one more quickly than, say, 10 great conversations (which actually isn’t all that many — right? and in fact i’m not sure that these would really balance each other out). they just haven’t been added to the list yet. suggestions?
2) definitely comparing point-values of the guys i’m dating has given me some perspective. for instance, i mentioned in a previous entry that i started appreciating Seth a lot more after my first date with Luke. that has continued to hold true. i’m constantly comparing them in my head; i figured that the points system would be a fairer way for them to unwittingly compete against one another. and i suppose that’s where all of this started. so, no, there’s no absolute threshold at this point that i’ve identified. maybe i should… but that would involve my discretely modifying my behavior based on a boy’s acquisition of a certain point value, and i’m not sure i can commit to that right now.
Comment by Jana— November 11, 2008 #